(originally published in The Sparrow's Trombone)
A wayward bird flies into the gift shop as Penelope stands at the cash register, ringing up the bill for a small porcelain turtle. The bird’s gentle path of flight touches Penelope’s poetic soul, and she stares, entranced, as the bird flutters and soars around the room. “Get that flying rat out of here!” bellows the manager. Penelope softly runs around the shop with her arms in the air, eventually guiding the bird out the open exit door. It is time for her 15-minute break, and Penelope goes to the back storage room, where she quickly falls asleep, using her gray sweater as a pillow, and starts to dream:
…In the dream, they find Penelope wandering around in a humid field, her cupped hands offering seed to the birds. “Spices and gifts!” She is repeatedly singing these words. “Spices and gifts!” They decide that she would be an ideal counterperson for their gift shop, which specializes in spices.
“Listen to me, we can help you fit into this society. We’ll construct a nice little niche for you. You’ll be fed well as you feed the machine,” they say.
“I don’t want to feed the machine, I want to feed the birds…with spices and gifts!” replies Penelope in a sing-song voice.
Soon Penelope is working the counter at the gift shop. “What do you sell here?” asks a customer.
“We sell spices and gifts!” intones Penelope. “The spices are nutmeg, paprika, and rosemary. The gifts are basketballs and humidifiers!” The customer looks at a table stacked with basketballs. On the floor of the shop sits a humidifier, little puffs of steam gently wafting out of it. “Spices and gifts! It will feed the birds with spices and gifts!” says Penelope.
“What? What do you mean?” he asks.
“Spices and gifts, it will feed the birds with spices and gifts. Feed the birds!”
“What? Birds don’t eat steam. And besides, how many people buy humidifiers? I’ve never thought of buying a humidifier,” says the customer resolutely.
“Well maybe it’s time you did,” suggests Penelope helpfully, going to the back storage room to get a humidifier, which she places on the counter. The customer ends up buying the humidifier, a basketball and some paprika. As he exits, a flock of birds flies into the store through the open door. Hours pass as the birds fly around, and perch on the basketballs. At the end of the workday, Penelope walks out the door and back into the humid field, followed by the birds.
At corporate headquarters, the CEO of the conglomerate that owns the chain of gift shops looks at the spreadsheet. “What’s responsible for the sharp upturn of revenue for Gift Shop #53?” he asks the sales manager.
“We hear they have a new counterperson there who babbles about birds and insists on selling only basketballs and humidifiers, along with 3 types of spices. Yet she’s able to sell these products at a high volume, easily surpassing sales goals.” says the sales manager.
“Fuel up my private jet, I want to meet this person!” orders the CEO, rising from his brown leather swivel chair.
After a cross-country flight, the CEO and his team of managers arrive at the gift shop, where Penelope is feeding birds and selling a basketball. Customers are lined up outside of the store waiting to get in. “I hear you’ve been doing very good business here,” says the CEO to Penelope, looking around the gift shop.
“Spices and gifts, it will feed the birds with spices and gifts!” sings Penelope, placing a humidifier on the counter.
“I think you have a big future with our corporation,” says the CEO. “But you need cages to get these birds under control, and a central climate-control system will remove the need for humidifiers.”
“I will not cage the birds!” screams Penelope, running out the front door, headed back to the humid field, followed by the birds…
“Penelope wake up, your break is over!” yells the manager, interrupting Penelope’s dream. “Now get some paper towels and clean up the bird crap on the floor!” he bellows. Penelope grabs a mop and looks out the window, seeing a bird peck at a deflated basketball in the street gutter.